Sunday, March 19, 2017
Unfinished business 03192017
As an outsider looking down on my life, right now, one would possibly describe the scene as a built up energy time bomb exploding and spewing with shame, disgust, sorrow, and anguish. The liquid demon has it's prey, yet again. Just like the Eagle, I too aim to catch prey. The prey is my own heart, which currently I feel miles away from, not millions as before. The journey to my heart is coming closer, day by day. There isn't anyone that can come before me or my heart, they are now considered scared. I must do whatever it takes to secure, nourish, and love it or it gets possessed by the liquid demon.
The infamous liquid demon, the one I feel as if I can control, but it always controls me. Its a dead end street, a grave, cold, and stinky. The liquid demon is sneaker than I, more courageous than I, a liar, a thief, a manipulator, a narcissist and an asshole. I've wrestled with the liquid demon most of my life however, starting today, I'm done wrestling and I surrender. It's time for a big ol flush, or else I will just sit here, stagnate, cold, stinky and grey. This picture is not the ideal picture one envisions for their life, well not me anyways.
These lotuses remind me that I thought it was just me, but it isn't. I am not alone in this struggle, strength is in numbers. The struggle with addiction is not the only layer in my multifaceted past, present and future however, day by day is my motto and today looks really bright.
Labels:
addiction
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